Twilight New Moon was number one in the box office this weekend bringing in 140 million dollars, 258 million worldwide, I didn't suspect anything less. It's been riding on he hype machine since the day after the first movie came out...If this movie didn't come in at number one some PR guy really screwed up.
Adding to those numbers was I, your MF correspondent. I took my little sister, which made her happy. I was honestly looking for soemthing to mock, I figure If I'm going to make fun of this thing, I need to know what I'm talking about...unfortunetly there's not a lot to mock, that i didn't already make fun of with the first one. Admitedly, It's a lot better than the first one. That might be due to the film focusing mostly on warewolves and the fact that the warewolves are a lot cooler than the vampires, although Dekota Fanning's vampire was pretty dope. She has the power to make you cringe in agony by saying things like "pain". ..... it was alot cooler when I saw it than it is explaining it right now. Just trust me, stay away from Dekota Fanning when her eyes are red.
It was pretty fun being in the theater with all the Twilight fangirls because I was able to find my own comedy in certain momnets. For instance when Jacob took off his shirt, all the girls went ooooh ! and I did the same in the deepest voice i could conjur. OHHHH JACOB! The guy behind me caught the joke and almost choked on his popcorn. Before that there's a scene where the shinniest vampire of them all, Edward walks across the screen in slow motion, and all I could think was, "wow, really?"..it was done in that style used in John Woo action films, but usually there's a team of super gangster militant opperatives with guns and explosives, but this was just Edward, looking hungry.
Other than that, it was standard Twilight fare. Unhealthy relationships (at one point Bella doesn't move from a chair, change her clothes or shower for 3 months because her and Edward are apart), cheesy lines, misfired lines, bad acting that slowly gets better as the story progresses and action scenes that get you really pumped up and then end 3 seconds later. I really wanted to see those two warewolves fight each other for a long time, it was a good fight for the 30 seconds it lasted. And I get the target audience doesn't want to see wolves fight because they rather watch Edward and Bella make out. And boy do they make out, Edward has to have the shinniest bluest balls on earth.
I still don't get why they are so in love with each other and why Bella wants to be a vampire so bad. I understand it would suck to keep aging while you get saggy and wrinkly, but your also giving up your soul and part of what makes you special to Edward. Doesn't she get that part of her allure to Edward is that he really really really wants to bite and kill her, once she's a vampire, that's gone. Then she'll just be that girl who's mind he can't read, which makes Edward just like everyother guy in a committed relationship. And wow, I just realised I know way too much about this series than I thought I did or ever wanted to. I have to go shower.
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