I DO NOT, repeat DO NOT run Emerald City. C'mon. Let's be serious. You think I could run this whole place using deception and technology? That's crazy. You think it's just a fantastic lie? Preposterous! NO, the Wizard is a real being. NO, I DON'T "control" him using pyrotechnics, projectors, and a microphone crafted from a magical Guilka horn. I just stand behind this curtain and fiddle with these buttons. I DON'T even know what they do, or why he makes me do it. It's just my job. I mean sure I...well I CAN'T say how the wizard became the ruler of OZ, or where he comes from, but that DOESN'T mean he ISN'T real, ya know?
Like, I DON'T know where you come from, but you're here, and real, right? DOESN'T that prove my point? You see what I'm saying? You DON'T? OK. Well, let's just drop this whole thing. What? NO, I CAN'T remember when I started doing this or how I got here, but that DOES NOT mean I am in fact the Wizard. Seriously, you run along now, or else The Wizard will get real cranky. I'll put in a good word for you, and maybe he'll give you guys a free ticket to the silver super duper plateau of yummy yum yum licorice, which is really really far away from here. Just forget you discovered me back here. It'll be cool. Just DON'T say anything to anyone ever, and we'll call it square. Sound good? Yeah, I"m sure it does seem kind of sketch to you, but trust me on this one. You have NO reason to be suspicious. Good. Great. Go ahead and scoot along now. And if the Wizard decides to incinerate you and your friends in a vindictive inferno of flame as you're leaving, DON'T look at me.
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