I DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT by bk

I DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT have a supporting role in the upcoming movie "The Twilight Saga: New Moon." I DON'T know who told you that, or where people keep hearing this. Certainly NOT from me. NOR from my cousins twitter account. At NO point during this sexy teen vampire film do I appear on screen or in voice. C'mon, if I were to actually be in this movie, I would NOT play Guidance Counselor Lothar "Lonnie" WitchingSmith, a character who not only serves as a high school guidance counselor, but is also secretly an ancient occult expert whose loyalties are ambigious at first, but end up ultimately benefitting the main protagonist. I've NEVER portrayed a guidance counselor. NO, NO, that was a principal in "Mean Girls." NOT the same thing. Ridiculous! Look, there is NOT a scene where I pull up the ultra sexy, ultra fast vampiremobile in the heat of battle and save the day. I DON'T say lines like, "Geesh, this place is turning into Vampire high," or " I wouldn't cross me, you no name nosferatu." I would NOT die a cheap death to save the kids somewhere between Act 2-3, and I would NOT have a small referring joke bit during the credits. I HAVEN'T even heard much about this movie or even read and re-read the book. Maybe you have me confused with some one like Kevin Spacey, or Snoop Dogg, that would make sense. But me, in a blockbuster movie based on the bestselling teen novels, NOPE, definitely NOT. and by the way, if you stare closely at the theatrical poster, you DON'T see me ominously standing in the fog with a upturned trenchcoat collar concealing my face.